HAPPY SUMMER EVERYONE! Have fun outside while i'm stuck in the cold-as-ice classroom for 6 weeks. Again. -_-;

Anyways, for the meaning of my journal title. Remember a few journals back when I said I have a boyfriend? Well,....he WAS a Senior. And he, along with 4 of my best Senior buddies (and my brother I guess.), have graduated as of 2 weeks ago. Murff told me right after he graduates, he's going to join the Marines. (HE'S GOING TO THE ARMY TO DIE!!) I have mixed feelings about this whole thing. On the one hand, he was sweet and considerate. On the other hand, we didn't have the typicasl lovey-dovey relationship everyone else has. I'm not sure. Besides,.....I betrayed him.

*shifts gears*

For a year, I've been crushing on a really attractive Junior. The only way I could talk to him was by asking questions. He loves art and dresses in black, as I do, and figured he could be the one for me. I took a chance, dolled myelf up in makeup, (I got hit on by boys who wouldn't second glance me before I could see him.) and asked him if he wanted to go out. He said I was really sweet to tell him, but HE WAS TAKEN. *glass breaks* I wanted to cry. The moment demanded tears! But even when I was alone,....I didn't shead one teardrop. Was I truley crushing on him? Or was a part of me holding back the tears 'cause what I did was generally wrong?.....I dunno.

Love....Loss.....Crushes....Crushed.....I just don't get it. I wittness love in front of me every hour of the day. I even took Dating Advice from my sister! Why can't I get this right? I try, I really do. How is it that when I like people, they're taken; and when someone likes me, I reject them? It riddled of no sense. I give up....I'm sad to say Love, the controller of Life's heartstrings, has won another bittersweet victory.

Okay, I now sound like some old 17th Century lovefool poet. Now I have one request of you: Don't love me. And never allow me to love you....if you don't...want to die....from all my bitching, that is! BA-ZING! ......Oh, screw the icons. I'm gonna go sulk. *sulks away*